Emotional intelligence: Tuning Into Emotions. Boosting Your EQ
In a nutshell
Emotional intelligence, or EQ, is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, and those of the people around you. It involves empathy, self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, and social skills. Or in the words of Daniel Goleman, the godfather of EQ, it's about "recognizing our own feelings and those of others, motivating ourselves, and managing emotions well in ourselves and our relationships."
What is it - the detail
Emotional intelligence is not just about being able to recognize when you're feeling cranky because you haven't had your morning coffee. It's about being able to manage those feelings and not let them impact your interactions with others. It's also about being able to pick up on the emotions of others and navigate social situations effectively.
Emotional intelligence is made up of five main components, according to Goleman. Self-awareness, or the ability to recognize your own emotions; self-regulation, which is about managing your emotions; motivation, or the drive to achieve for the sake of achievement; empathy, which is the ability to understand others' emotions; and social skills, which is about managing relationships.
Why it's useful and important
Emotional intelligence isn't just for therapists and kindergarten teachers. In the corporate world, EQ is like the oil that keeps the machine running smoothly. If you've ever worked with someone who blows up over the smallest things or completely misses social cues, you'll understand why emotional intelligence is so important.
Teams with high emotional intelligence work more effectively together, have better communication, and have lower levels of conflict. In fact, some research suggests that emotional intelligence can be a better predictor of success than IQ. As Goleman wrote, "IQ and technical skills are important, but emotional intelligence is the sine qua non of leadership."
But emotional intelligence isn't just about making work a more pleasant place (although that's certainly a bonus). It's about understanding and managing emotions to achieve better outcomes. A leader with high emotional intelligence can help their team navigate the ups and downs of business and come out stronger on the other side.
Teams with high emotional intelligence work more effectively together, have better communication, and have lower levels of conflict. In fact, some research suggests that emotional intelligence can be a better predictor of success than IQ. As Goleman wrote, "IQ and technical skills are important, but emotional intelligence is the sine qua non of leadership."
But emotional intelligence isn't just about making work a more pleasant place (although that's certainly a bonus). It's about understanding and managing emotions to achieve better outcomes. A leader with high emotional intelligence can help their team navigate the ups and downs of business and come out stronger on the other side.
How to develop it, use it or employ it
Good news for those of us who weren't born with the emotional sensitivity of Oprah Winfrey – emotional intelligence can be developed. The first step is to become more aware of your own emotions. This can be as simple as taking a moment to check in with yourself during the day and name your emotions.
You can also work on your empathy skills. This isn't about becoming a shoulder to cry on for everyone in the office, but about trying to see things from other people's perspectives. This can be as simple as asking someone how their day is going and really listening to their answer.
In terms of using emotional intelligence, it's about making it a part of your everyday interactions. This could mean managing your own emotions in a stressful situation, or picking up on the fact that a team member is feeling frustrated and addressing their concerns.
You can also work on your empathy skills. This isn't about becoming a shoulder to cry on for everyone in the office, but about trying to see things from other people's perspectives. This can be as simple as asking someone how their day is going and really listening to their answer.
In terms of using emotional intelligence, it's about making it a part of your everyday interactions. This could mean managing your own emotions in a stressful situation, or picking up on the fact that a team member is feeling frustrated and addressing their concerns.
Common pitfalls to avoid
- Ignoring your emotional triggers: Not being mindful of what sets off your emotions can lead to unexpected reactions that impact your interactions.
- Neglecting self-regulation: Allowing emotions to dictate your actions without attempting to control or understand them can harm your relationships and decision-making.
- Lacking intrinsic motivation: Without a personal drive that goes beyond external rewards, sustaining effort through challenges becomes difficult.
- Undervaluing empathy: Failing to genuinely understand and share the feelings of others can lead to miscommunications and conflicts.
- Overlooking the importance of social skills: Not honing the ability to navigate and manage relationships effectively can limit your ability to work effectively within a team or lead others.
Key takeaways
- Understand your own emotions: The first step to emotional intelligence is understanding your own emotions. This can be as simple as checking in with yourself during the day and naming your feelings.
- Develop empathy: Try to see things from other people's perspectives. Ask about their day, their feelings, their viewpoints, and really listen to their answers.
- Apply it every day: Make emotional intelligence a part of your everyday interactions. This could mean managing your own emotions or recognizing and addressing the emotions of others.
So, next time you're feeling frustrated at work or you're about to head into a difficult conversation, remember your emotional intelligence. As Daniel Goleman said, "In a very real sense we have two minds, one that thinks and one that feels." Here's to making the most of both.
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